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Time to do things on my own

I have been here in Virginia for a year now. I have struggled so much. I have been stressed most of my time here. I have been shedding for a while now and I have big bald patches on my head *sucks*. The balding is for another story. You see, I came here in Virginia with my two kids who were then 5 yrs old and 8 months old and with 12 luggages. I was breastfeeding then since I was only 8 months post-partum. And everything just got harder and harder. The worries, the stress, the anxiety, all of it just keeps adding up and I felt very limited which was what I hated the most. I became very reliant to my husband very much so that even the things I am feeling, I need to get approval or affirmation (not his fault). It took me 8 months to book an appointment to the doctor because I just can't. I get very bad anxiety just thinking about talking to someone I don't know or doing something I know nothing about. BUTTTT Now, I decided to try to do things on my own. Because I know I can. So I...
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High school Bff

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Yesterday, I thought about high school life and I specifically remembered one of my then high school bff. I still know a lot about her firsts and I still remember our moments and I realized she was one I can talk to about anything. She also saw some of my poems and essays (in reference to passion and purpose blog) but I am not sure if she still remembers them. Sooooo I reached out to her. Can you believe my last conversation to her was 5 years ago, and she greeted me on my birthday.  This is what I sent her She responded and we chatted for a little bit. I was so happy. It's like reliving your old self but seeing it in a different perspective now. I am looking forward to seeing her and talking to her hopefully in the future. She lives in the UK now and I live in the US but who knows, life has its way of surprising us. *I wanted to post a picture of us when we were in high school and then I realized I only have hard copies of them and they're in Ph. 
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Passion and Purpose

I came about Bianca Gonzales' teaser of her interview with Francis Kong. He said passion is selfish because you are serving yourself where as if you will find your purpose and pursue it, it serves the people. I agree with him and I think what you are doing can be both passion and purpose but it has to be clear why you are doing it. I love writing. I have been writing since I was in grade school. In high school, it became poetry then stories. In college, it's writing letters. I would only keep it to myself and very few people who I trust. But then I forgot about it because it got too busy until it reached a point where I am not writing anymore and forgot that I love to write. And the video made me think about writing. I guess this is my passion? I actually find myself at times searching for writing courses but would dismiss the idea completely. I wonder if I should pursue this. I am still busy with life (I am a SAHM to a 1 yr old girl and a 6 yr old), but the idea keeps coming b...
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Location: 2481 Curie Ct, Herndon, VA 20171, USA
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Post-Marital Self Realizations

I am the following: Selfish I am not that smart I am too ambitious (materialistic) Overly dramatic Maarte But.... I am strong and I will do anything for mh child
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Random Feels#2

I need somebody.  Help, not just anybody.  Help, you know I need someone.  Help! I never needed anybody's help in any way.  But now these days are gone, I'm not so self assured.  Now I find I've changed my mind and opened up the doors Help me if you can, I'm feeling down.  And I do appreciate you being 'round.  Help me get my feet back on the ground.  Won't you please, please help me? And now my life has changed in oh so many ways.  My independence seems to vanish in the haze.  But every now and then I feel so insecure.  I know that I just need you like I've never done before Help me if you can, I'm feeling down.  And I do appreciate you being 'round.  Help me get my feet back on the ground.  Won't you please, please help me When I was younger, so much younger than today.  I never needed anybody's help in any way.  But now these days are gone, I'm not so self assured. N ow I find I've changed my mind and ope...
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Random Feels#1

So, the hubby and I were having a conversation over breakfast this morning. I do have a hobby of randomly asking questions, I asked him if he ever asked his parents what their major quarrel was about. He said he did asked when he was a child and his mom said none. I told him, "natanong mo na ba sila nung malaki ka na, kasi syempre iba sagot sa bata" He said, "oo nung college or nung start ko magwork" and the answer is also none. So I asked him, "so ano sa tingin mo yung major away natin? " He said when we would not speak for days. I said, "grabe, kung ako tatanungin wala eh. Nung mother's day yun talaga, di ako galit pero malungkot ako sobrang lungkot." He said he thinks that is a major fight cause he never saw it at home with his parents, he never experienced such a thing. He never saw his parents fight. I don't know why, but I kinda felt sad and guilty for him and for myself as well. I will never be as great as his mother nor will I eve...
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A Mother's day post

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This is my first mother's day. I thank the Lord for giving me a chance to be one. I love being a mom. I also now got to actually understand my mother, the sacrifices, the pains, the fears and also a new kind of love. I have a new kind of love in me, a kind that is so full and will never run out.   I salute my mother and all the mother's out there. This day is for you! May you not feel alone and lonely. May you not feel that this is just an ordinary day. Husbands/children, please go out of your way to make your wives/moms feel loved. Be it through a surprise, a simple letter, doing a chore, massage, a tight hug, or an I love you because moms deserve all of it. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
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